I Got a Diagnosis… Now What?

Getting a diagnosis is often a watershed moment. At one end of the spectrum, it can feel like a breakthrough. A moment of clarity that can help explain a lived experience, ushering in relief.

A mental health diagnosis can feel like a breakthrough, or sometimes a breakdown. This post explores what comes next: stabilisation, deeper work, and the long arc of integration.

But there is another side to diagnosis that is not always openly spoken about. On the other side of the spectrum, the diagnosis can stir up confusion. For instance, it can shake up a person's sense of self by challenging their identity. They may not have recognised in themselves certain symptoms. Suddenly, they may not feel like they know who they are.

Regardless of where someone sits on this continuum, the reality is that diagnosis is not an end point. It is the beginning of a longer and often more complicated journey.

Mental health diagnoses are rarely clear cut. The same set of symptoms can belong to many different conditions. Focus difficulties, for example, are common across ADHD, anxiety, depression, trauma and autism. Similarly, the assessment tools we rely on do not always get to the root of the problem. They tend to capture symptoms. They do not tell us why those symptoms are there.

This is where a thoughtful, collaborative approach is essential. Diagnosis should not sit with one professional. Ideally, it should involve more than one perspective. A multidisciplinary team brings together different ways of thinking. It means the person is seen from multiple angles. It reduces the risk of missing something important.

Even when the diagnosis is correct, it does not mean the treatment is obvious or the path ahead is simple. The typical medication might not work. The "gold standard" therapy might feel misattuned.

And still, we expect it to be a shortcut. A way out. The label that makes things make sense. That fixes the pain. But as Dr Anna Lembke writes, part of why we suffer is because we have become preoccupied with avoiding discomfort altogether. Perhaps we want a label to take the struggle away? But in most cases, what it gives us is direction.

Diagnosis is not a plan. It is a spotlight. It shows us where to begin the work.

And that work, almost always, begins with stabilisation.

Why Stabilisation Matters

After diagnosis, most people want a clear path forward. They want to understand what to do next. But treatment rarely begins with action. It usually begins with stabilisation.

Stabilisation is the process of helping someone feel safe enough to think clearly. It involves emotional, physical, and relational safety. The brain needs to calm before it can reflect. If someone is in a state of overwhelm, tools and insight will not land.

When the nervous system is dysregulated, the thinking part of the brain goes offline. The person might shut down, dissociate, intellectualise, or become highly reactive. These are not signs of resistance. They are signs of stress. The role of the therapist is to help regulate, not to push forward.

Stabilisation work might include:

·       Co-regulation and nervous system soothing

·       Naming and validating emotional states

·       Grounding techniques

·       Psychoeducation about how stress affects the body and mind

Sometimes assessment itself helps stabilise a person. When someone understands why they feel the way they do, it reduces fear and self-blame. Clarity can be regulating. But only if it is held in a space that feels safe.

This part of therapy is often dismissed as "just coping." But stabilisation is not passive. It is active containment. It lays the groundwork for everything that comes later.

Clients often want to move quickly. Therapists may also feel pressure to get results. But rushing the process can backfire. Stabilisation is not something to race through. It is a phase of therapy in its own right.

Without stabilisation, therapy can become overwhelming or unsafe. With it, people begin to build trust. They learn how to stay with their experience. And over time, they can begin to do the deeper work that brought them to therapy in the first place.

The Deeper Work

Once stabilisation is in place, therapy shifts. The client is no longer fighting to stay grounded. They can think while feeling. They can hold emotional truths without being swept away. They begin to move toward the deeper work.

In clinical terms, this is the shift from regulation to integration. The client may start talking about things they avoided for years. Shame, grief, identity confusion, relational trauma. The things that shape the core of how someone feels about themselves.

We recognise readiness not because the client wants to talk about difficult things, but because they can talk about them without losing stability. They can reflect without dissociating or intellectualising. They stay present and connected, even when the material is painful. They can think about what they feel.

This phase often activates avoidance. Clients may hesitate, minimise, or deflect. These strategies were once needed to survive, but now maintain suffering or contribute to continued distress. The work is to name them, hold them in the open, and gently confront them. Therapy at this stage becomes a space where truth can be spoken and tolerated.

The therapist contains the process, but does not soften it. Through clear structure and relational attunement, the therapist doesn't rescue the client from discomfort, but stays with them as they move through it. This is where insight deepens and internal coherence begins to form.

Therapy is not just about reducing symptoms. It is about building a coherent sense of self that can hold both past pain and present possibility.

Integration and Life Beyond Therapy

Integration is a quiet but powerful part of therapy. It marks a shift from understanding to embodying. From reacting to responding. From surviving to living. Integration reflects a stable, coherent sense of self. A person who can hold complexity, self-regulate, reflect, love fully, and contribute meaningfully to the world.

When integration begins, the storm settles. Affect is no longer overwhelming and there is a space between trigger and reaction. Clients begin to set and pursue meaningful goals. Relationships become more stable and fulfilling. There is less splitting, less emotional volatility, more insight, and more accountability.

The tone of therapy changes. Sessions may be less intense, more reflective. The work often focuses on sustaining gains, deepening insight, and navigating new roles or transitions. It is no longer just about pain, but about possibility.

Where This Leaves Us

The arc of therapy is not linear. It is a spiral. Themes return, but the relationship to them evolves. Growth becomes more steady. The person is more anchored. Healing is not about becoming perfect. It is about becoming more fully oneself with all the complexity, contradictions, and wisdom that involves.

To heal is to accept what has been and to stay open to what is still possible. It is to take responsibility without collapsing into shame. To build a life that is both contained and free.

Key Takeaways:

• A mental health diagnosis is not a conclusion, but a beginning.

• Stabilisation is foundational as it prepares the mind for reflection and learning.

• The deeper work involves more than symptom relief, it helps rebuild identity and coherence.

• Integration is not always dramatic, but deeply meaningful. It allows people to live, relate, and reflect with more freedom and acceptance.

• Healing is not about perfection. It is about becoming more fully and compassionately oneself.

Written by Kirstan Lloyd, Clinical Psychologist

Founder of the Helix Centre, a UK-based psychology and psychotherapy practice specialising in neurodiversity, mental health, and therapeutic assessment. This article was written by Kirstan with the support of AI research tools and is grounded in recent literature from psychology, health science, and applied mindfulness practice.

References

• Lembke, A. (2021). Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence. Dutton.

• Kernberg, O. F., & Yeomans, F. E. (2013). Transference-Focused Psychotherapy for Borderline Personality Disorder. American Psychiatric Publishing.

• Bateman, A., & Fonagy, P. (2016). Mentalization-Based Treatment for Personality Disorders: A Practical Guide. Oxford University Press.

• Linehan, M. M. (2015). DBT Skills Training Manual (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.

• Gunderson, J. G. (2016). Good Psychiatric Management for Borderline Personality Disorder: A Practical Guide. American Psychiatric Publishing.

• Siegel, D. J., & Bryson, T. P. (2012). The Whole-Brain Child. Bantam Books.

• Leichsenring, F., & Steinert, C. (2017). Is cognitive behavioural therapy the gold standard for psychotherapy? The need for plurality in treatment and research. World Psychiatry, 16(2), 206–207.

  
  

  (Note: References were used for conceptual framing and clinical accuracy. This is not an academic article.)