More Than Forgetfulness: Understanding the Cost of ADHD at University

"Most students with ADHD are working harder than anyone can see. Behind the scenes, they are using every strategy they know just to stay afloat."

Students with ADHD often arrive at university with a sense of optimism. They are bright, capable, and ready for a fresh start. Some adapt quickly, finding new rhythms and managing the shift to independence. But others may begin to struggle almost immediately. What starts as excitement soon turns into exhaustion.

For these students, deadlines are missed, appointments slip by, and lectures blur together. The pace is relentless, and without the structure of school or support from home, daily life becomes harder to hold onto.

This is not about laziness. Most students with ADHD are working harder than anyone can see. Behind the scenes, they are using every strategy they know just to stay afloat. And yet, they are still left asking the same quiet question:

"Why does this feel so difficult?"

ADHD is not a learning problem

When we think about ADHD, we often think of focus or restlessness. But the real difficulty lies in what happens across time. ADHD affects how people get started, how they follow through, how they hold onto information, how they shift between tasks, and how they manage energy and emotion over the course of the day.

Some students with ADHD did well in school, especially if they were bright or supported by structure at home or through school staff. But university is different. It expects you to manage yourself. You need to juggle different subjects, remember your own deadlines, plan meals, maintain friendships, and get yourself to lectures, without prompts or oversight.

This is often when things start to come undone. The scaffolding disappears. The demands rise. And many students find themselves overwhelmed before they have had time to catch their breath.

Some students with ADHD did well in school, especially if they were bright or had parents and teachers offering structure. But university is different. It asks you to manage yourself. You have to juggle multiple subjects, remember your own deadlines, prepare food, keep up with friends, and wake yourself up for lectures without anyone prompting you.

This is where things can start to come undone. The scaffolding disappears, but the demands increase.

Why things look fine on paper, but feel difficult in real life

When students with ADHD are tested using formal assessments, their scores often improve with age. Measures like working memory, problem solving, and processing speed may fall within or above the average range. And in standardised conditions, they can perform well on focused, structured tasks.

But these tests do not reflect daily life. They cannot account for the emotional strain, unpredictability, or decision fatigue that comes with being responsible for everything.

At university, success depends on being able to plan ahead, respond flexibly, and recover from setbacks, often in an environment that is fast-paced and socially complex.

So on paper, a student may appear to be doing fine. But privately, they may be falling apart.

What makes this harder is that it is often misunderstood. Others may assume the student is careless or unmotivated. They might be told to try harder, focus more, or simply manage their time better.

The difficult truth is that many students with ADHD know exactly what they need to do. The challenge is doing it at the right time, in the right way, and repeating that effort day after day. This is not just about distraction or energy. It is about the gap between intention and action.

But this can be misleading. The tests often measure ability in controlled settings. They do not account for the emotion, stress, unpredictability, or social complexity that reality presents. They do not reflect the chaos of daily life, especially in a setting as cognitively demanding as university.

So a student can look fine on paper, but be falling apart in their room. And what makes it worse is that no one sees it. Or, if it is recognised, it is often labeled as "laziness" and the sentiment prevails that all the student need do is "try harder".

The sad paradox is that most ADHD students can identify what they need to do, but struggle to put it into practice at the right time. Indeed, ADHD can be imagined as not being able to do the right thing at the right time. It is more than inattention or restlessness. 

The cost is not only academic

Many students with ADHD find ways to compensate. They use colour coded timetables, audio notes, reminders, alarms, caffeine, or last minute adrenaline to push themselves over the line. These strategies work, up to a point.

But the cost is high. While they may manage to submit the assignment, they might be pulling all nighters, skipping meals, or isolating themselves to cope. The price they pay is not just their sleep or their stress levels.

It is often their sense of self.

ADHD has a way of eroding identity. When your efforts or potential do not match your outcomes, when you constantly forget things, or let people down, it chips away at your confidence. Some students begin to feel like they are not good at life. That they are lazy, unreliable, or just too much.

It also affects relationships. They may seem distracted in conversations, appear overly sensitive or emotionally dysregualted, miss social cues, or cancel plans. This is rarely because they do not care. It is because their brain is already overloaded. But the result is often the same: loneliness, guilt, or fear of rejection.

What helps (and it is not just discipline)

What makes the difference for students with ADHD is not stricter rules or tougher self-talk. It is having a life that feels possible to live.

That includes:

1. Predictability and rhythm

The more structured life feels, the less effort it takes to function. Simple routines reduce the mental load. Having the same wake up time, study slot, or evening wind down can create anchors across the day. When life feels less chaotic, stress levels drop and clarity returns.

2. Confidence that you can cope

The aim is not to be perfect, but to build systems that actually work for you. That might mean using a shared calendar, asking for lecture recordings, or breaking tasks into two or three steps. It might mean having a support worker, coach, or therapist who helps you find your rhythm again. The more tools you have, the more you start to trust that you can get through what comes your way.

Some ADHD friendly tools and habits that make a real difference include body doubling, using smart pens or note taking apps, listening to ambient noise, and using colour to visually separate subjects or types of tasks. Many students also benefit from scheduling support, time extensions, or reduced distraction exam settings. These are often available through university disability services, but you have to register and ask for them, they are not automatic.

3. A sense of purpose

The students who cope best are not always the most organised. They are the ones who know why they are there. When you feel connected to what you are working towards, even hard things feel worth the effort. This does not mean knowing your whole life plan. It just means feeling that your degree, your subject, or your choices matter to you on some level.

Passion helps with persistence, but even motivated students burn out without structure. The emotional cost of trying to keep going without clarity is high. The more the student feels connected to a sense of identity and future, the easier it is to cope with the everyday friction of studying with ADHD.

4. Good relationships

Life is lighter when you are not carrying it alone. Being understood by even one friend, lecturer, or support staff can make all the difference. Human connection acts as a buffer against shame. It reminds you that you are not broken. You are just wired differently. And that wiring deserves care, not criticism.

Know your rights and options: ADHD support at university

Students with ADHD are eligible for academic accommodations, but these are not automatically carried over from school. You need to register with your university's disability or wellbeing service to access them.

Examples of support include:

• Extra time on assignments or exams

• Lecture recordings or note taking support

• Priority course registration

• Reduced distraction testing environments

• Access to coaching, mentoring, or executive support

In some cases, students can also apply for housing flexibility or part time course loads if their health is affected.

No one expects you to do this alone. If you are struggling, reach out early. The earlier you register, the easier it is to set up support before burnout sets in.

Top five mistakes students with ADHD make (and how to avoid them)

1. Waiting too long to ask for help – register early with disability or wellbeing services.

2. Assuming support from school still applies – it does not transfer automatically.

3. Picking modules based on convenience not interest – engagement matters.

4. Trying to manage everything alone – connection is protective.

5. Believing you are the only one – ADHD is common but often hidden.

Final thoughts

University can be a cognitive overload. For students with ADHD, the challenge is not that they do not know what to do. It is that doing it daily, consistently, across time, under pressure, with limited support, can feel like an uphill climb.

The damage is not always visible. But it runs deep: into self esteem, mental health, and relationships.

What helps is building a life that feels clear, manageable, and meaningful. That means working with the brain, not against it. Using tools that actually fit. Finding moments of clarity. Creating relationships that feel safe. And keeping hold of the goals that matter to you, even when the path is messy.

No one is meant to do this alone.

Written by Kirstan Lloyd, Clinical Psychologist and Psychotherapist

Kirstan Lloyd is the founder of Helix Centre, a UK-based psychology and psychotherapy practice specialising in neurodiversity, complex mental health, and assessment. Her work bridges clinical insight with lived experience, advocating for inclusive, compassionate approaches to care—for both children and the adults who raise them.

This piece was thoughtfully shaped with support from current psychological literature and reflective tools designed to distil complex research into accessible guidance for students, families, and professionals. All interpretations are grounded in relational and developmental principles.

Additional Resources

• For more lived experience and accessible guidance, visit ADDitude Magazine, an award-winning resource for ADHD support.

References

• Barkley, R. A. (2012). Executive Functions: What They Are, How They Work, and Why They Evolved. Guilford Press.

• National Institute for Health and Care Excellence. (2018). Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: diagnosis and management (NICE guideline NG87). Retrieved from https://www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng87

• Al-Yagon, M., & Walter, O. (2025). Exploring pathways to resilience and wellbeing in ADHD and non-ADHD students in higher education. BMC Psychology.

• Wolf, L. E. (2001). College students with ADHD and other hidden disabilities. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 931(1), 385–395.

• DuPaul, G. J., Weyandt, L. L., O’Dell, S. M., & Varejao, M. (2009). College students with ADHD: Current status and future directions. Journal of Attention Disorders, 13(3), 234–250.